Love is in the air and Valentine’s Day is just around the corner.  As men, we usually have no problems in our business, and focusing on the strategy to get what we want. However, when we start recognizing the need for a great personal relationship, we often go about it all wrong.  I want to share one of the 7 deadly sins of dating. That dating sin is sharing how you feel too soon.  With 15+ yrs of matchmaking experience and relationship coaching under my belt, “too soon” is defined as before your 4th date. You have to give a woman the chance to really get to know you before you walk the plank.  Sure your emotions are like fireworks, but women are slower to the draw. The analogy that men are like “blow torches” and women “more like ovens” holds true for how our respective emotions heat up. Women worry about “what if?” and “is this real?”  Men don’t.  If you make it to the 4th date, this means that a woman does like you and your admiration will be accepted. After an amazing first date, I took a woman out to dinner for a second date. Everything was perfect.  The conversation, chemistry, and flirting were all flawless.  At the end of the second date I said, “We have so much in common and amazing chemistry, would you like to see each other exclusively?” She said no, to my surprise. She didn’t know me well enough yet. Months later, we were engaged. Like most men, I read the mutual romance signals right, but was thinking like a man rather than a woman. I almost ruined a great relationship. We all know that attractive women are rare. They get asked out daily, everywhere they go. They have experience, often more than men in terms of dating. They know what to expect and can anticipate your moves in advance. And one thing that turns an attractive women off and sends her running is a guy who starts saying “You know, I really, REALLY like you” after one or two dates. This signals to the woman that you’re just like all the other guys. All of those dates that she never called back, those who fall for her too fast. Control yourself.  Be calm, cool, and collected. Leave the date with her hoping that you’ll call.  If you revert back to the teenage method of dating…”I really like you, I really feel a connection here”. It’s over. Flirt, but don’t gush. Our skilled matchmakers find out exactly what each woman thought about you, in detail. This after-date feedback is extremely helpful in taking your relationship to the next level. So, lean back and relax. Let us deliver this information to you confidentially so in the end you do get the relationship you want and deserve.

Valentine’s Day is when a guy’s affection and compatibility are put to the test. But don’t dread Valentine’s Day for its sappiness, see it as a challenge. This is your chance to surprise her, make her girlfriends jealous, and move beyond the usual halfhearted purchase of chocolates from CVS.

1)   Try  A Love Letter-Two out of five guys will text their loving message on Valentine’s Day and two in ten will send emails. That doesn’t even factor in Facebook and Twitter professions of love. As sweet as you think 140 characters can be, old school letters win every time.  Women want to feel special.  Giving a card designed for the masses or sending a text implies minimal effort.  More than 75% of women say that a heartfelt love letter trumps chocolate and flowers every time. You can get a blank card or take a photo of the two of you and write a message on the back. It doesn’t have to be long, and can even be a quote from a song you both like. In this electronic world we live in, handwriting still holds a certain intimacy.

2)   Avoid Teddy Bears and Balloons– Those things are great if you are in high school. Women’s polls consistently show that those gifts rank among the worst. I’m not suggesting you run to the nearest jeweler.  In fact, depending on where you are in the relationship, extravagant gifts can seem overwhelming. If you’ve just started dating, a big gift can imply more depth to the relationship than there is. Instead, find a simple gift that shows you’ve been listening to her. Maybe buy a DVD she’s wanted, a book by an author she’s mentioned, or even something that she really needs. Thoughtfulness is a huge turn on for women.

3)    Make Plans– More than 50% of men make no V-day plans in advance.  This can be a problem since most women expect guys to map out the evening.  To avoid conflict in a relationship or potential relationship, just make a plan. To women, making plans is a sign of commitment. Putting forethought into your time together suggests you might see a future together. It may sound like a leap, but if you want to see the woman again don’t take this lightly.